


be alright.

by sunrisenewt



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Stydia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 08:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunrisenewt/pseuds/sunrisenewt
Summary: Stiles Stilinksi is no stranger to weird feelings. When a familiar one shows up, he goes to Lydia Martin for help.





	be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is a part 1 of a 2 and yeah. its sad. like really sad.

Stiles parked his jeep outside Lydia’s home. He wasn’t allowed there, but she was the only one who could calm him down from this episode… well her and Scott, but Scott wouldn’t believe him, and Stiles wasn’t even sure if Lydia would believe him, but he was hoping she would.

His fingers gripped the keys as he turned the engine off as well as the lights, pulling the keys out of the ignition. He turned his head to look at her house and instant regret poured into his body when he registered that there wasn’t any light. This was wrong. It was wrong for him to arrive at her house uninvited and in the middle of the night.

But he needed her.

He closed his eyes and hung his head back, motivating himself to call her all the while squeezing his thigh, nails digging deep despite the pajama pants clinging to him.

 _“Stop freaking out.”_ He thought to himself. _“You have no reason to freak out.”_

His lip trembled as he repeated the words until he hissed in pain, his nails finally cutting into him. It brought him out of his thoughts, long enough for his eyes to snap open and he whisper a little “ow” before rubbing his thigh with his palm.

He didn’t think twice as he lifted his phone from the cup holder and unlocking it with his fingerprint. He stared at the picture of the Pack before quickly pressing the green call button and typing in Lydia’s phone number.

He could feel the same fear he did before bubbling inside him. What if she told him he was being delusional? She was used to the late-night calls because, well, he almost always called her when he needed advice on homework or a case. She wasn’t used to _this_ , however. He never asked for her to let him inside her house this late at night and he felt ashamed for doing it now.

The phone ringer once, the twice and then it stopped ringing. He could tell it wasn’t her voice mail. It normally started immediately, not two seconds later.

Stiles lips parted for him to say something, but Lydia’s groggy voice beat him to it.

“Hello?” She spoke.

His voice got caught in his throat and he didn’t speak until she repeated the same phase again.

“Lydia?” he asked in a question. His mind was everywhere, and he wasn’t too sure whether or not it was actually her, despite pressing her name and everything. “Can I come in? I-I don’t know what’s happening, but I need someone who… who might believe me?” Another question. His voice wavered, and he could tell Lydia was debating whether or not it was a good idea.

“Yeah,” she responded, “I’ll be down in a second.”

The phone call ended there, and true to her word she was down her staircase and at the front door pretty quickly. She opened the large wooden door and turned on the porch light, signaling for him to come to the door, and he did.

Stiles opened the driver's side door and quickly locked his jeep before walking up to Lydia’s house. He could see her in the dim light from a few feet away and she looked amazing.

Her hair was in tousled curls and she wore a large white t-shirt that hung off her shoulder slightly, as well as a pair of blue pajama pants that had rainbows on them. They were cute.

Stiles got closer to Lydia and he gave a small, weak smile before looking down at his feet. He wore a pair of beat up Vans, blue pajama pants and a hoodie. He looked like a bum, unlike Lydia.

“Hey,” Lydia said to break the silence.

Stiles whispered the same words and glanced up at her before commenting on her pajama pants.

“Cute pants,”

There wasn’t a sarcastic remark insight, and that was the moment where Lydia knew something was up. Not him calling at 3 A.M., it was him missing an opportunity to make a remark.

Lydia reached out and grabbed Stiles hand, pulling him inside the house. He noted the difference between the dark hall and staircase, reminding himself to never reappear this late again. Lydia shut and locked the door and turned off the porch light before interlacing their fingers together and leading him up the steps.

He knew this house in and out. Stiles was here so often he knew where each room was and where each nook and cranny were. Lydia knew the same about his own home, and he was glad they had gotten that close over the years.

Neither of them spokes as they walked. She just led the both of them, and quite honestly, it felt nice for her to lead him to her room. Lydia pushed open the door and nothing had changed since he was there last, which was maybe a week ago. Lydia’s room was still the same old off-white color, and she still had the pictures of her and her friends hanging up. The same light pink bedspread and fairy lights.

“So,” Lydia whispered as she closed her bedroom door and locked it. She sat on the bed and patted beside her, signaling him to do the same, and he did. “What’s up, Stilinski?”

Lydia looked over him, but he didn’t look back. He felt too embarrassed to look at her right now, but she made herself comfortable as he remained stiff. Lydia could tell, so she wrapped her arm around his and laid her head on his shoulder.

“You can talk whenever you’re ready.”

Stiles was grateful for those words, so he waited and racked his brain for the right thing to say, but he didn’t know what was right. Before he said anything, he looked over at her. Her eyes were closed, and she looked sound asleep, but he knew her better than that. She would never just go to sleep without understanding what was wrong.

“I-I think something is wrong…” the words trailed off and right after they were released from between his lips, he knew that it was cryptic, and he shouldn’t put more detail in, so he did.

“Ther-There’s voice’s in my head and it’s overwhelming cause I don’t know who any of them are and when I do that person isn’t around. Sometimes I hear my mom?” His voice wavered, and he looked down at his hands, eyebrows knitting. “And she’s dead so I don’t know why I’m hearing her now after years of never hearing her.” He stopped his rambling before continuing on.

“I feel like I’m always drowning and on the verge of a panic attack. It feels like everyone is saving one another but no one is saving me?” He whispered, more to himself than to Lydia.

His eyebrows were knitted, and he quickly added something, that Lydia could barely make out, but when she did… She felt horrified.

“It feels like something is wrong inside me.”

Stiles finally looked at Lydia. He felt dumb and annoying as he sat beside Lydia, almost in tears. This was dumb, and he felt as if this was a mistake, but he needed to talk about it. But the overwhelming feeling that he had been feeling for… months was something he had felt once before. He wasn’t sure it was the same thing, there was no way to tell, but if it was… he was sure it would kill him this time.

Lydia looked at him and brought her hand to his face, caressing his cheeks. “What do you mean?” She said in worry.

She knew what he meant. She knew what he was going to say as an answer, and she wasn’t ready, she wasn’t ready to go through this again. She was fully awake and the memories of him, Scott… Allison… they all ran through her head as they looked at one another.

“I-I woke up one night and I felt like I was underwater,” he paused and sniffled. “I just felt like I was trapped, and I looked down and my leg was clamped down by a bear trap and I looked to my side and I saw _him_.”

Lydia looked at him with knitted eyebrows, somehow feeling her heart start to fall into the pit of her stomach.

“Wh-Who, Stiles?” She asked. She hadn’t properly taken in his appearance since he got there and now that she was staring at him, she could tell he was getting kicked in the ass. His eyes were puffy from hours of crying, lips dry and broken. His undereye bags were larger and darker than normal and his cheeks looked sunk in a bit.

“Stiles!” Lydia rushed out in a quick and panicked tone when he didn’t respond.

“I think the…” He trailed off, hanging his head before finishing. “The Nogitsune is back.” He whimpered, tears finally falling from his eyes. He didn’t feel any better admitting it, in fact, he felt worse. He felt like a burden to her and like she was fucking up their whole relationship they’ve made over the years.

Lydia, however, understood him. She felt as if this brought them closer and although she knew this was going to fuck with the pack, she felt ready to take on the Nogitsune again.

Stiles leaned into Lydia a little bit more, crying a bit harder than before.

“It’s okay, angel.” She whispered and moved her hand to his hand, running her nimble fingers through his knotted locks. “We… We know how to beat him, okay? Everything will be okay.” She whispered softly as memories of the past flooded her brain.

The last time this happened, Allison died. Her best friend died and since then she’s lived with that and Stiles has as well. Both saying ‘what if’s and blaming themselves all the while pretending to be happy.

“Someone’s going to die,” Stiles whispered to Lydia. “Someone _always_ dies, Lyds. No one ever lives and it’s always _my fault_.” He whispered and picked at the skin on his arm.

Lydia quickly shook her head and laid her hand on top of his as she looked at him. Their fingers interlocked again, and her heart began to officially fall.

“We’re going to get through this, okay?” She whispered. “We’ll win this time, just like we won last time.”

Stiles looked over at her, hesitating to nod his head and agree because he knew there was a large possibility that they wouldn’t win.

“You can stay here tonight,” she announced as she got up from the bed. Stiles began to protest but Lydia put a stop to it quickly. “You’re going to stay here, and we’ll go see Scott first thing in the morning.” She planned out loud.

Stiles didn’t argue back as he watched her unlock her bedroom door. She walked to the bedside table and turned on one of her lamps before turning off the ceiling light. She sat on the side of her bed and waited for him to follow suit, which he did.

He took off his shoes and got up, going to the other side of the bed, laying down on the bed. Lydia helped throw the covers over Stiles as they both got comfortable with one another.

This wasn’t the first time they were sleeping in the same bed, but her heart was worrying that it may be the last time. So, with that thought on her mind, she laid her head on Stiles’ chest and listened to his heartbeat as he took irregular breaths.

“I’m sorry for killing Allison.” Stiles whispered into the air. Lydia shook her head and buried her face deep into his chest.

“You didn’t kill Allison. Allison and Aiden weren’t your fault, Stiles.” She muttered before taking a deep breath and squeezing his arm as they both slowly drifted off into uncharted territory.


End file.
